Blessing

There was a post on Scrapshare asking what your blessing were today. So I answered. Here's mine:

I feel so blessed that I have a strong healthy baby boy growing inside of me right. this. minute. I may not know if he'll still be here with us tomorrow, or next month but I know that RIGHT NOW he's inside of me. I feel blessed every moment that I have him. I am blessed every week, day, hour, minute, second that he is here longer than his brother Ian was. And I feel even more blessed because I can feel him wiggling around in there so I don't have this feeling of not knowing if he's alive or not. I know.

Last Saturday's Adventure (17w3d)

(Copying this straight from my posts on Scrapshare. Didn't feel like retyping everything.)

03-10-2007, 09:20 AM
Waiting on a call back from my high-risk OB. I just got up this morning, went to the bathroom, and saw my scary past. I had brown spotting. Again. I'm trying to stay positive as I wait for the callback, but inside I'm scared as all get-out and am freaking out. I'm at 17 weeks, the magic number. It scares the crap outta me. We lost Ian at 17 weeks, I can't do this again. OMG I can't do this! Please help me stay calm! I need you girls!

09:36 AM
UPDATE: Got the call back from Dr. Martinez. He's at the hospital 'cause he's on call. Wants me to come up there to L&D and he'll do an ultrasound to see what's going on. I'm leaving in like 10 minutes, will let you all know what's going on when I get back.


02:06 PM
UPDATE: Just got home a little bit ago (had to stop and pick up the kids and a prescription). Anyway the good news is that the baby is fine. The bad news is that I earned my self at least 5 days of bedrest. Ultrasound showed that my placenta is lying over my cervix (praying that it will move as my uterus gets larger). Dr said that there was probably a small abruption at that site which is causing the bleeding. Given my history, he doesn't want to take any chances and so I'm off my feet until Wednesday. If the bleeding and cramping (which started a few hours ago) goes away by then I'm ok to go back to work. If not well we'll cross that bridge if we have to. I'm okay, nervous and scared because its like a post-traumatic flashback, but I'm trying to stay upbeat and positive.

Oh and after the doctor reassured me that the baby was fine, I asked him if, since we were already there, if he could take a peek at the sex. He said that he would though they usually don't like to "confirm" the sex at 17 weeks. He asked me what I thought it was before we peeked. I said girl... until I saw the little "turtle" peeking out between the baby's legs! He wouldn't confirm anything though he did type out on the ultrasound "I think I'm a boy". LOL! So Meg's wrong about the baby. I'm having another BOY!! Can ya believe it?!!??

Update from the 16 week ultrasound.

And the baby is.................a boy..................or is it a girl..........Darn booger wasn't cooperating. On top of that the machine was older than dirt. It took forever for her to even get the baby in clear view. Just saw the top of the head, no movement. I wasn't breathing. I was freaking out, started tearing up. Took a while before she was able to get a view of the baby and even then it was hard to see the baby's heart beating. I seriously thought I was gonna lose it. Finally I was able to breathe when I saw the faintest little bit of a hear beating. THANK GOD!

Baby was tucked all in weird and we weren't able to get a good view of the bottom. I'm aggravated and disappointed. Overall it was just a bad afternoon. I mean yeah its awesome that the baby is doing well and everything, especially with what this week means to me. But I just wanted to know so darn badly. That's twice that we've been in for ultrasounds and we haven't been able to see the sex. I'm not good at this. I'm a planner. I like to prepare. I want to stock up on winter clothes while everything is on like 75% clearance. I want to know what this little one is!

But now I have to wait for 4 more weeks. Next appointment isn't until 3/30. Do you have any idea how long that is?!?!?!?