Thursday, January 29, 2009


I'm at a crossroads. I'm thinking about returning to school so that I can finish my degree and apply for medical school! It's been on my mind a lot (especially since the Letter to yourself at 17 post). The biggest regret I have is listening to my college Chemistry professor who told me that I'd never become a doctor. I believed him, and since then, deep down I've been miserable and my self-worth has suffered.

Last night Jason and I had a huge heart-to-heart. I finally confided in him about my low self-esteem issues and how it almost all goes back to my freshman year of college. How I feel like I am worthless because I have never had a "career" and that the only jobs I'm qualified for are waitressing or $9/hr crap jobs. I've felt trapped for the past 14 years. I've used the kids, family and money issues as excuses for why I haven't become all that I've wanted to be. So now I'm thinking that the best thing for my family is for them to have a wife and mother who feels good about herself; who feels successful and validated.

I AM good enough. I AM smart enough. I AM determined. I CAN do it.

So tonight I'm going to apply to the local state university to begin classes in the summer or fall. And then after that, well, medical school. Am I crazy? Am I too old? I'll be 33 in the fall when I plan to return to school. I have about 2 years worth of pre-reqs to finish for my degree. So that would put me at 35-36 or so when I would apply for med school. Add in 4 years of that so then I'm 40 (with a 20 yr old, a 16 yr old and a 9 yr old).

Has anyone done anything like this? What was your experience? Do you have any regrets?


Jackietex said...

You'll be 40 then no matter what, might as well try. My husband decided he wanted to be a dentist when he was about 33 or 34. He had thought about it earlier but didn't really pursue it because it didn't seem realistic. He was unhappy with what he was doing(dental supply sales), didn't feel respected and thought, after visiting dental offices for years, that he would make a good dentist. He finally decided to go for it. He had to do about a year or so of prerequisites, and then did dental school. It wasn't easy but definitely worth it.

CloverGirl said...

All my best wishes for you, Meg! It's a tough decision, but you'll never know if it's what you want until you go after it.